Welcoming a new baby is part joy, part work. It can also be lonely if there's no family around.
"We call ourselves the modern-day version of extended family," said Julie Peet, program director for Many Mothers, a nonprofit organization that provides help for new mothers.
And Joyce Bond, 53, knew she was going to need an extra pair of arms— or two or three— when she learned she was going to deliver triplets.
"I'm probably the oldest mom of triplets in New Mexico," said Bond, marketing manager for the city's Public Works Department, who said fertility treatments were involved in the pregnancy.
The Bond triplets— Dallas, Jayci and Marie— are 9 months old, but were born 21/2 months premature on July 25, 2007. Dallas, the only boy, and Marie were 2 pounds, 3 ounces each, and Joyce was a bit heavier at 2 pounds, 7 ounces.
Jayci and Dallas had to stay in the hospital until October of last year, and Marie until December.
Bond's husband, Barton, 55, provides most of the daytime help, now that Joyce has gone back to work for the city. Barton is retired but teaches part-time at Central New Mexico Community College in Albuquerque. The couple also have live-in au pair help— Teresa Villarroel from Bolivia.
Fortunately for the burgeoning Bond family, Many Mothers knows how hard it can be for a new family, especially one with multiple births. "Usually, we'll send a volunteer for three months," said Peet. "But if you have twins, you get volunteers for six months. Triplets, it's nine months."
The time commitment is not tied to the age of the children, but to when the volunteer begins working with the family. "And the family gets one volunteer for one baby, two for twins, three for triplets," said Peet. "It's partly so volunteers don't burn out and to spread out the help."
Why not just hire help if the mothers can afford it? "There's something about the neighbor-to-neighbor support that's special," said Peet, who explained that Many Mothers has moms of varying income levels. "It's not that employee/employer thing."
The volunteers never presume to know what a new mother needs. "We come in and say, 'How can we support you for the next two hours?' '' said Peet. "And sometimes they just want to talk— if they had a traumatic birth experience, or if they're feeling unsure as a mom."
Many Mothers has a pool of 30 volunteers, but usually some 15 are active at a time. "Some might be traveling or taking a break," said Peet. "They range in age from 20 to one who's at least 70 and a grandma. You don't have to be a mom to volunteer. We have full-time career women and those who are retired and want to give back."
Peet first became involved with Many Mothers as a volunteer after meeting the group's founder, Anne McCormick, some 10 years ago. McCormick died in February. "Anne had been stepping away over the last couple of years because her health was declining," said Peet, who became program manager during that time, and Sue Dean became executive director.
"We had a year and a half of transitioning," said Peet. "But there is still that disbelief that our friend is now not here to consult with."
Offering Help
On a weekday evening at the Bond home, volunteer Barb Petkus had arrived to help with the triplets. "Barb comes every Thursday," said Joyce Bond. "She even brought us homemade lasagna and homemade ravioli once."
Petkus is a naprapathic doctor. "We work on musculoskeletal pain using gentle manipulation," she said. "I've been doing a little craniosacral work on Jayci."
Like many volunteers, Petkus, 59, got involved in Many Mothers by knowing one of the other volunteers. "Julie (Peet) said she was short volunteers," so Petkus thought she'd try it. "I have a 24-year-old and a 19-year-old myself.
"But this is so rewarding," said Petkus. "I get to hold babies."
At her last volunteer assignment with Many Mothers, her duties were different. "I put a crib together, I cleaned her kitchen," said Petkus. "I just say, 'What do you need?' ''
"And here," said new dad Barton Bond, "It's 'hold babies' all the time."
