How to Tell a Santa Fean From a Tourist: Part II

- May 21, 2013

Signs that show you're a local

If you have no idea what the little white things are pictured above, you are a tourist. If you are a Santa Fean, you have grabbed all five bags, ripped two of them open and eaten them while standing in line to pay, because these my friends are bizcochitos, the official cookie of New Mexico.

Readers offered the following ways to tell a tourist from a Santa Fean:

When it rains, the tourists are the ones running inside the nearest building to escape getting wet while the Santa Feans are crashing into them to feel the rain on their faces, a once in a blue moon event in this never-ending drought.

Tourists are the ones giving money to the panhandlers on the Plaza. Santa Feans are the ones rolling their eyes.

Tourists ask which way is Cerrillos Road, pronouncing the “Ls,” and Santa Feans are the ones responding, “First of all, you pronounce it Cerrillos with a ‘Y.’ Second, what could you possibly need badly enough that you want to get on that road?”

Tourists tell the waiter they will have green chile and red chile on their burrito. A Santa Fean just says Christmas.

Women who wear pretty little heels to walk around town are tourists. Santa Fe women have long ago surrendered the heels in favor of flat shoes that won’t get caught in the bricks or ripped in the gravel. The one exception is a dressy night out when  door-to-door car service is mandated.

A tourist will wear a Virgin Mary pendent. A Santa Fean will proudly sport a multi- colored Virgin Mary tattoo from his or her wrist to his or her elbow.

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