Madness?

Santafe.com - November 28, 2011

This is Black Friday!!!!

So after passing on turkey and instead preparing and eating prime rib. I was stuffed early Thursday night. Silly me when I over heard "Best Buy is having a Black Friday sale and opening at midnight." I made the mistake of pulling into the parking lot which was littered with people. One line wrapped around the building and all throughout the parking lot were scattered large groups of people. It took me 15 minutes to simply get out of the parking lot as their doors opened at midnight. It was tragic, all I wanted was a Kinect sensor for my XBOX 360 so I can dance and make awkward hand movements in front of my TV in front of my entire family with no shame. Tried to go to Walmart... also a bad mistake. Walmart had a terrible line which looked more like a slaughter house line with a four foot tall metal fence zigzagging all throughout the sidewalk and then to the parking lot. I then gave up, went home, and fired up my computer.

Who wants to wait in line for 6 hours in freezing cold weather anyway? No one, that's who. I sat in my chair and stared at my three monitors while calmly listening to a very quiet hum from the seven fans inside my tower. I didn't have to tackle my way into a store, I didn't have to wait in line, I didn't have to freeze in the cold weather, and most importantly I could have a rum and coke at my desk while shopping online for what I wanted, simply my XBOX Kinect Sensor. I found it for $80 off (YES! WINNING) I then kept shopping online, you know... Just to see what else I could find... and guess what!? Your $2.72 Waffle Maker in the store was online for $2.72 as well. I found that all the in-store specials are also online-specials.

So next year, I'm going to sit at my house and rock out to my music and not have to feel like I am playing rugby on Black Friday. I mean... have you seen some of the video's on YouTube? Black Friday is a very violent and insane day. Maybe not so much in Santa Fe, but fist fights broke out, stores were looted when they didn't open on time, and probably some people died this year. Black Friday is not for the faint of heart and next year I vote we all break out swords and battle in the parking lot before the store opens. That will not only control population but will also increase job opportunities thus, dropping the unemployment rate and improving the economy. I should be president.

Those of you who hate violence and killing animals to eat and what not... I think you forgot how we came to be, how we survived as a species. We didn't eat grass and leaves... we chased animals and tore their fur off with our bare hands and ate it raw without fire for awhile. Sorry, I'm going off on a tangent... and if you don't know what a tangent is or sine or cosine... I will see you next Black Friday with my sword. Survival of the Fittest, Smartest, and Tactical.